Friendly Tournament Finishes in the Arctic Circle
By u/TheSauerkrautKid via Reddit
Call it an exhibition all you want, but the Snowballs are looking to prove themselves. They've made some key technical adjustments and it's showing. Don't be shocked to see them toward the top of the leaderboard early on. The true question for the Snowballs: can they maintain momentum over a full season of events? Time will tell.
The O'rangers look locked in. After nearly skunking the Snowballs in Curling they were basically given the go ahead to shift down a gear and keep their legs fresh. As advertised.
Harsh, perhaps, but the Speeders may need a coaching change. Bad. After falling just short in the summer they came into the offseason focused, but now just look tired. They need a new direction and possibly a few deep breaths. Unfortunate that we didn't get a downhill heat for them, as speed-based racing has always been their bread and butter and could have really shown them off and given them some confidence. Nevertheless, don't expect to see the Speeders in the same structure they are right now come opening day. I'm not telling Speeders fans to panic just yet, but it's not far off.
As seems to always be the case, Mellow Yellow is the true wild card. To reuse a cliche, it's going to be all about matchups for MY. If they can stay in range after the first few events, the points system could be their best friend. If they come out slowly, expect to see a less familiar face on the medal podium.
In short: the O'rangers may still appear favorites, but the cut couldn't be any less clear.
Welcome to the Power Rankings, where 5 experts give their rankings for the best MarbleLympics teams. Below the comments are the Power Rankings, which are determined by the averages of the experts’ picks.
BobTheGreat’s rankings with comments.
Anton Weber’s rankings with comments.
Andrew Harris’s rankings with comments.
Hershy926’s rankings with comments.
Damgenius' rankings with comments.
Editor’s Note: In order to show the consensus of our experts, these rankings only take into account the middle 3 rankings from individual experts, disregarding the highest and lowest ranking.
Balls of Chaos visit Roundabout
The first-ever episode of Roundabout, a marble talk show hosted by Bennington, was aired recently, featuring the Balls of Chaos. Led by Tumult, the Balls of Chaos delivered a confident prediction. They’ve hired two new trainers and have been practicing a lot. Unfortunately, the episode was filmed before Chaos’ fight with Team Primary, so they weren’t able to speak about that. The Hazers will be the next team to visit Roundabout.
Watch the full interview here
Predictions for Event 1: 5 Meter Dash
By Nein Knight
The first ever Winter MarbleLympics, due to kick off Feb. 9th, will bring the round crowds of the Arctic Circle to its feet [Editor's Note: It is not the intention of this publication to determine whether marbles have feet, and any opinions on the topic are solely the responsibility of the author.]. To kick things off with the 5 meter dash, here are our predictions for the opening event:
O’rangers: Despite being the fan favorite and the defending champions, Kinnowin finished last in the friendly event just last week. There are some rumors that the managers might pull him out and replace him with Mandarin, their backup racer. The O’rangers tightly built organization sure won’t accept any mistakes this early in the MarbleLympics. But hopefully these rumors are a farce and we’ll be able to see Kinnowin in his full rolling glory.
Snowballs: Having the host advantage, the Snowballs are familiar with the icy tracks. Despite not having any practice in the qualifiers, our reporters have observed that the team has had plenty of time and space to strengthen themselves using the numerous facilities they’ve established in their two-year absence from MarbleLympics play. Expect a good performance from Snow, their team captain. Morale has been high among the snowy selects after winning the friendly competition last week.
Team Galactic: Expect Pulsar to come through and blast the opposition sky high! He’ll be looking to improve upon his 4.91 time in the qualifiers He’s done his share of boasting during the break, so it’s not sure he’ll get past the Semi-finals this time. But who knows? Karma might turn a blind eye…
Raspberry Racers: The newcomer team, along with its racer, Razzy, have exceeded all expectations already by winning Group C in this even in the qualifiers. But as time passes, the event is looking more and more like a fluke. I know little of this team, so my prediction here is either a semi-final berth, or, as most underdog stories go, an overbuilding of pressure and, as a result, a lackluster score. This time, I’ll have to go with the latter.
Hazers: After blowing the competition completely out of the water in the 5-meter qualifiers (winning by a full eight-hundredths of a second), I already expect at the very least a podium finish from Hazy. Just incredible stuff from the young gray marble. His main advantage is having a fantastic starting boost, letting him build up an uncatchable lead early.
Limers: Using its large fanbase and fluorescent pride, the Limers are expected to do fairly well in this first ice event. Slimelime will be eager to taste the snow and grab a good few points.
Pinkies: Having finished dead last in the qualifying event, it’s a miracle that the Pinkies even qualified for the MarbleLympics at all. Hopefully Pinky Rosa has shrugged it off enough to put herself back into contention, and learned to avoid the walls as much as possible this time.
Midnight Wisps: The Wisps seem satisfied with their 5.00 time in the qualifiers, so Wespy will need to step up big time to even repeat that performance. But with the lazy attitudes they have towards the upcoming event, they’ll likely flop.
Crazy Cat’s Eye: After firing the manager earlier this month, this badly funded team has been restructured, and rumor has it that Green Eye will be the starter for the dash in place of Yellow Eye, causing an uproar among the CCE fans. Green Eye does have good speed, but consistency is an issue. Hopefully for them, this will change.
Team Momo: With the starter for the race a complete mystery to us, this passionate squad will hopefully crank out a good result, building on their Group C victory in the 5 meter dash.
Savage Speeders: A real force to be reckoned with, Swiftly will surely take the starting the gates and live up to his team name. He can read his opponents’ movements well, and his commitment to his team seems boundless. The Speeders, not matter their approval rating, will storm through to a top-four finish.
Minty Maniacs: Minty Fresh, that smiling beast, finished fourth in Group A during the q’fying. He’s had recent personal troubles of his own, having had his dearest grandmarble pass away. We offer our condolences to the team. He’s been struggling with depression, but hopefully his speed hasn’t.
Balls of Chaos: The only thing that seems truly chaotic with the BoC is their fanbase. But other than that, Tumult, their racer, is cool and composed, and on a good day can easily surpass a 5.00 time. If he keeps it up, he’ll be tough to get around, as he drops like a stone in the initial descent.
Thunderbolts: Having a mediocre placing in the qualifying, I won’t expect much from Boltu. He’s got guts and speed, but in the end always tends to lag behind the favorites, sort of like how thunder lags behind lightning.
Mellow Yellow: Cheery ol’ Yellup, the veteran, will start for the Yellows for Event 1. Finishing second in the friendly round, she’s primed and ready to leapfrog her heat-mates on the icy slope. My expectations are high for the Girls in Yellow.
Oceanics: The official miracle-workers of the MarbleLympics, defying near-impossible odds just to qualify for the big event, have their hopes set high on Sea to work his magic, who finished fifth in the event way back when. However, I believe the Oceanics’ luck will run out early. I’ll be surprised if they were to make it into the top 2 in their heat.
Write for the Newsletter!
This newsletter is published by the International MarbleLympics Committee (IMC), but we want fans to write for us too! Send your fictional stories or analysis to the editor at firstname.lastname@example.org, and you might see your stories on the newsletter! Also, if you post some good analysis on another site and we see it, we might ask you if we can use it. Just ask u/TheSauerkrautKid, whose analysis of the friendly was posted on Reddit and is now our lead story.